Letter by Lily Cahill

This letter would be written after the murder at the school.

Dear William

I must have written and re-written this letter thousands of times by now. I think it's because I'm not too sure as to what to say. At the beginning I furious with you. This letter would be all about how you ruined my life, and how I wish you were dead instead of them. I'm still angry, you're not exempt from that. But, I realised something. Something about the situation. I wasn't shocked by it. It's as if I expected something like this to happen, that's why I didn't come in when you told me to. I just wish you would have told the others to do the same. I'm not too sure what was going through my head when I told my mother I was sick and I didn't want to go to school that day. I don't know why I didn't tell the others about our meeting we had the day before, I don't know why I didn't warn them. Yes, there was a part of me the expected something to happen, but there was also a part of me that clung on to the hope that you would see a different light. Never did I expect to attend 3 funerals in the end.

I had so many questions I wanted to ask you. Questions like "what were you thinking?" or "why did you do it?" but I realise now, that it doesn't matter how or why. I realise now that I don't really care. The answers won't bring them back, so why bother. You were famous for a while, did you know that? But like all tragic stories, they were covered up by celebrity drama crap. Now you are no-one, rotting In that cell, I can't help but feel that I should be in there with you, paying for the 3 lives I could have saved. Instead I bathe in the sun in the field of another new school.

You will be pleased to know I have stopped burning myself, not for you of course, for Nicholas. He noticed the scars too, I made a promise to him I would stop. I kept that promise for him. I miss him a lot, I think about him all the time, I think about the life we could have had together. A life you took from us for no reason. Yet again a life I could have saved, if I would have just warned them. I think about Bennett and Cissy too. As horrible as they might have been, death was not the answer.

This is usually the part where people say that they forgive you. If that's what you're hoping to get from me then you will be greatly disappointed. I don't forgive you William, and I never will. I hate you, almost as much as I hate myself. I don't want a letter back from you, I hope you have a long and lonely life.

Lilly.